20 LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE TODAY

  dileesha lakshan
  karma level 70816


 1.  My husband and I divorced over religious  differences.....
 He thought he was God and I didn't.

2.  I  don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.  I  work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!

4.  Some  people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

 5.   Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6.   Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

7.  Earth is the  insane asylum for the universe.

8.  I'm not a complete idiot  -- some parts ARE missing.

9.  Out of my mind.  Back in  five minutes.

10.  God must love stupid people; He made SO  many.

11.  The gene pool could use a little  chlorine.

12.  Ever stop to think and then forget to start  again?

 13.  Being "over the hill" is much better than being  under it!

 14.  Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to  be when I
grew up.

15.  I Have a degree in Liberal Arts; do  you want fries with
 that?

16.  A hangover is the wrath of  grapes.

 17.  They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was  already taken.

 18.  He who dies with the most toys is  nonetheless dead.

19.  Ham and eggs.  A day's work for a  chicken; a lifetime
 commitment for a  pig.

 20.  I smile  because I don't know what the hell is going on.




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