BIG FAT LIES WOMEN TELL MEN.
1. I'll call you.
2. I love you.
3. You're the
4. I've never felt this way about anyone else.
I've got to work late at the office tonight.
6. That's the
best sex I've ever had.
7. You've got the most beautiful eyes
No, I'm not married
9. Sorry. I must have left my wallet and
credit cards at home.
10. You just have to believe me when I
tell you nothing's wrong.
ready to make a commitment.
12. Except for a beer or two, I
13. My wife and I haven't had sex in years.
We'll get married as soon as I ...
15. I'll be home in
16. It's not that I don't care - I just have
to spend more time with my kids.
17. I've only slept with
maybe ten women in my entire life.
18. I've been celibate
since we broke up.
19. I could never lie to you.
I can still last all night
21. I always use a condom
I can help you get a great job in my company (field)
tested HIV negative
24. I haven't seen her since she and I
25. The only sexual fantasies I have are about you
No, I don't think your thighs (stomach, breasts, hips, etc.) are too
27. I'm too tired
28. How could you think I'd
be interested in her? She's your best friend
29. When it
comes to oral sex, I'm the best
30. I've never had any
trouble keeping an erection before
31. It's you and me, babe -
we'll make love all over Europe
32. I'd never do anything to
33. I want to grow old with you
Believe me, my wife and I live very separate lives
having sex won't change a thing between us
36. Don't worry,
I've had a vasectomy
37. I'm going to leave my wife
You're nothing at all like my mother
39. Your being a
different religion doesn't matter to me
40. It doesn't bother
me that you make more money than I do
41. Even without sex,
we'd still be friends
42. I think older women are the most
43. I'm considered one of the top people (in my
field, in the company)
44. What attracts me to you is your
45. We'll split all the child care and household chores
46. Of course I don't mind that you didn't come
I've never had an affair before
48. You're the only one who
49. I've never been in therapy
You're the best thing that's ever happened to me
51. No, I'm
not seeing anyone else
52. I haven't thought about her (old
girlfriend) in years
53. How many times do I have to tell you
I'm not having an affair?
54. Your career is as important as
55. I promise you that I'll change
want us to remain close friends always
57. My wife and I have
58. You're wonderful; you deserve someone
better than me
59. I don't masturbate
60. Let's be
61. When you walked through that door, I knew
it was the real thing
62. I'd like you even if you were a man
It's okay to be good looking, but looks just don't mean that much to me
The difference between us will bring us even closer
spend everything I earn on you and the kids
66. No, I never
67. You make me feel like a kid again
I'm going out with the boys (to the gym, to the office)
I'll move wherever you want
70. Of course I'm not bored with
71. As soon as I finish this project (get a promotion, a
raise, make partner), we'll......
72. You've got more sex
appeal in your little toe than my wife's got in her whole body
It wouldn't be you and me anymore if I used one of those
Let's pool our assets - whatever is mine is yours
still find you just as attractive as the day I met you
Divorce is the farthest thing from my mind
77. Sure, I'll
watch the kids
78. It's not just the sex I want, it's being
close to you.
79. We'll be spending a lot of time together
when I retire
80. You're the only reason I've worked so hard
If I didn't have all this work, you know I'd go with you and the kids
to your mum's
82. No one's ever turned me on like you do
My boss says there's nothing to worry about
84. I'll never
85. Relax, she's just a friend
86. This is
just a temporary separation until we get things worked out
Your hair (dress, outfit) looks fantastic
88. It was just
sex - it didn't mean a thing
89. Of course I'm listening to
what you're saying
90. Come on in and we'll just cuddle for a
91. No, I don't think you're fat
You're the woman I should have married
93. I'm going to be
focusing on my work for a while now.
94. I guarantee you, I'm
not the father
95. Your having kids has nothing to do with
my not wanting to get married
96. I'm not ashamed of the way
you talk (look, act, etc.)
97. It's nothing personal; I just
don't like sharing my living space with someone
98. This time
I'm really serious
99. Honestly, honey, it's just for the
guys - none of the wives go to the conference
always take care of you.