Engineering Life : Hilarious but amazingly true

  karma level 104809

1.  Some Basic definitions..

Engineering College : Place where you're punished for getting good HSC marks.

Senior:  Guy who got ragged as junior and wanna get some payback...

Fresher: Guy who has to ask where the canteen   is...

Really Dumb Fresher: Guy who asks a senior where the canteen is.

Really Really Dumb fresher: Guy who follows the senior to the canteen.

Ragging: The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.

Evasive action: Watch the juniors when any seniors come nearby. (No one runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.)

Lectures: Waste of time..Physical presence is a must...only meant for sleeping, completing assignments & general TP (TIMEPASS)

Tuitions: What you take when you don't waste enough    time....

Professor: Person paid to put students to sleep.

Vernac Prof: Unusual variant of previous individual who comes packaged with

his own brand of English ("Now you check me our journal."   "You out get

from class." "Are you Understand, Beta?")

Practical: 60 to 90 minutes in which you watch the girls do your Experiment, and usually destroy a considerable array of lab equipment.

Hopeless Practical: The practical in which there are no girls in your group simply look blankly at each other, fiddle with the equipment, and finally copy the readings. From the girls of course...).

 2. The Truth about exams....

Timing...when ur non-engineering GF/BF is free to enjoy while u slog with submissions & exams

Irony:  The guy who copied your entire paper passes and you flunk.

Critical Calculation: Summing up the marks you attempted worth in the exam...

SP : Makes you suicidal..the WAY of life...

Year Drop : Makes dad homicidal.

Reverification : A cruel joke. (results of which come after you give the

SP-SUPPLY   exam).

3. An engineer's 10  ENGINEERING commandments of Life

 1. Thou shalt study only during the preparatory   leave.

            2. Thou shalt never write thy assignments ur self.

            3. Thou shalt begin writing thy journals only on the    morning

of submission.

4. Thou shalt treat all marks above 40 as bonus.

            5. Thou shalt have at least 70 per cent attendance in the canteen.

            6. Thou shalt pass GRACEfully.

            7. Thou shalt always be an OUTstanding student.

8. Thou shalt give thy attendance without being   present...PROXY is a MUST

9. If thou can't convince them, confuse them.

10. Thou shalt start every sentence with a four lettered word.

4. The Years of Engineering

           F.E. Fond of Engineering

           S.E. Sick Of Engineering

           T.E. Tired of Engineering

           B.E. Balls to Engineering

           is it worth it???

5. Engineers Anthem:

 Hum Honge All Clear,Honge All Clear, Honge All Clear Ek Din,  OH-HO, Mann me hai vishwas, pura hai vishwas, hum hoge all clear ek din 6. Top two Engineering Rumours:

 'Did you hear the results are being put up today at   5:30pm'

 'Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks, its been put up.

7. The most dreaded acronym for Engineers :

ATKT ( After Trying Keep Trying)

8.The most important criteria while selecting an  engineering college:

      Girl to Boy ratio ( if more than 0.025% then that college is

      engineers dream come true)

9.Engineers at work:

Assignments solved by one and then carrying out  mass transfer operations throughout the class 10 The most important machine for Engineers :

Xerox Machine ( Without which assignment completion  wouldn't be possible)

11. The most important table in an Engineer's House:

The glass table ( to carry out GT  [Glass Topo]  operations, during  Night

Duty.)    (Chaap Khana)

12. The only queue an Engineer is familiar with:

Submission Queue

13. An Engineer's favourite watch:

 Bird Watch !

14.Common Engineering Dialogues

After a paper :

'What is this yaar, more than 70% of the paper was  out of the syllabus'

'This was the worst paper set in the entire  engineering history'

'I am failing....I got screwed royally'

On being Late

"I thought it is a monday" (lab starts at 10:45 on monday) "I was searching for the Classroom" (classic) " Route was late"

  During Lecture

 " Aaj ka assignment tere paas hai??"

 (classic)"Heads, we go home, Tails, we go home now!!!"

(classic2)"Assignment sheet hai??"


"Expt. dikha??"

"Attendance ho gaya ??"

(classic)"Karna kya hai??"

Unit Test

"Oh F***!!! Itna syllabus cover ho gaya ?"

(classic)"Aaj kounsa test hai?"

Late submission of assignments

"Maine X ko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assignment bhi saath mein submit kar dena"

"Fluid ka last date extend hua thaa"

(classic)"I dint know the last date"

Late submission of Assignment/report (for printouts) "Format pataa nahi thaa"

"Printer is not working today"

(classic) "Friday ko light nahi thee"

VIVA (b4 exam)

"submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga"

"Dekh Boss !! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ka ab tak preparation nahi hua hai......

VIVA (general)

"Dekh , tu jo bhi padhega , woh (external) tereko woh nahi poochhnewaala , then watz the point"

"Roll no. 1 aur 2 ko wapas bulaaya hai"

"External is asking Bermuda Triangle ka Magnetic force kitna hai"

"Ye kounse subject mein aata hai"

(Classic) "Aaj kounsa Viva hai?"


" Ye bhi chhapna hai kya??"

"Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?"

(classic conversation)

A: Ye tune kya likha hai / teri handwriting aisi kyun hai?

B: 1.Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh , jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai uska drawing nikal

     2. maine C se likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya , tu bhi wohi kar.

    3.Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh , jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai woh chhod de.


"Jo (mujhe)aata hai , woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai woh aata hai"

"ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai"

"ye last time hi poochha thaa"

"tere paas CRE ke notes hai??"

" woh chapter....... mark weightage 20 marks..... (facial expressions speaks the story)"

" nahi samjha to rat le (RBR) "

(classic..... when someone is intensively doing his last revision) "Yeh nahi aayega !!!"

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