Excellent One Liners

  Mridula
  karma level 104447


Here are some COOL one liner...

1. I say no to alcohol,

It just doesn't listen.

2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.

3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.

5. When everything comes in your way

You're in the wrong lane.

6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train..

7. Born free,

Taxed to death.

8. Everyone has a photographic memory, 

Some just don't have film..

9. Life is unsure;

Always eat your dessert f irst.

10. Smile,

It makes people wonder w hat you are thinking.

11. If you keep your feet firmly on the g round,

You'll have trouble putting o n your pants.

12. It's not hard to meet expenses,

They a re everywhere.

13. I love being a writer...

What I can't s tand is the paperwork.

14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: t he case, the jammed paper tray and t he blinking red light.

15. The guy who invented the first wheel w as an idiot.

The guy who invented t he other three, he was the genius.

16. The trouble with being punctual is t hat no one is there to appreciate it.

17. In a country of free speech,

Why are t here phone bills?

18. If you cannot change your mind, 

Are you sure you have one?

19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush,

Leave work a t noon!

20. If you can't convince them,

Confuse t hem.

21. It's not the fall that kills you. 

It's the sudden stop at the end.

22. I couldn't repair your brakes,

So,  I made your horn louder!

23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass.

24. The cigarette does the smoking, 

You are just the sucker.

25. Someday is not a day of the week.

26. Whenever I find the key to success, 

Someone changes the lock.

27. To Err is human,

To forgive is not  a company policy.

28. The road to success....

Is always u nder construction.

29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, 

But , if you think again, neither does m ilk.

30. In order to get a loan,

You first n eed to prove that you don't need it.

And my favourite ...

31. All the desirable things in life are e ither illegal, expensive, fattening o r married to someone else.







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