funny court conversations.....

  maulik patel
  karma level 65540
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts,  
They are things people actually said in court,  
_______________________________________________ 
  
 ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? 
 WITNESS: No, I just lie there. 
 ____________________________________________________________________ 
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? 
 WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. 
 ________________________________________________ 
  
 ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? 
 WITNESS: Yes. 
 ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? 
 WITNESS: I forget. 
 ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? 
 ________________________________________________ 
  
 ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? 
 WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' 
 ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? 
 WITNESS: My name is Susan!  
 ________________________________________________ 
  
 ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know 
about it until the next morning? 
 WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? 
 ________________________________________________ 
  
 ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he? 
 WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one. 
 ________________________________________________ 
  
 ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? 
 WITNESS: Is this a trick question?  
 ________________________________________________ 
  
 ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? 
 WITNESS: Yes. 
 ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? 
 WITNESS: Uh..... I was getting laid! 
 ________________________________________________ 
  
 ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? 
 WITNESS: Yes. 
 ATTORNEY: How many were boys? 
 WITNESS: None. 
 ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? 
 WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a 
new attorney? 
 ________________________________________________ 
   ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? 
 WITNESS: By death. 
 ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? 
 WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it? 
 ________________________________________________ 
  
 ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? 
 WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. 
 ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? 
 WITNESS: Guess. 
 ________________________________________________ 
  
 ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I 
sent to your attorney? 
 WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. 
 ________________________________________________ 
  
 ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? 
 WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that? 
 ________________________________________________ 
  
 ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? 
 WITNESS: Oral. 
 ________________________________________________ 
  
 ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? 
 WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. 
 ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? 
 WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! 
 ________________________________________________ 
  
 -- And the best for last: --- 
   
 ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? 
 WITNESS: No. 
 ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? 
 WITNESS: No. 
 ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? 
 WITNESS: No. 
 ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? 
 WITNESS: No. 
 ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? 
 WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. 
 ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? 
 WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law


Related Entries

123
votes
Dedicated To All Men Out There.......funny
Admin on Jun/23,2008  
844
votes
Furiously funny facts
by Bikash Chetry on Dec/06,2010 ( diamond user)
200
votes
Getting Married ? (Very funny)
by Rupesh on Dec/20,2010 ( diamond user)
84
votes
Really funny!!
by Panther on Jul/11,2012 ( diamond user)
93
votes
So funny.
by Toddler13 on Jun/09,2014 ( diamond user)
857
votes
Most hazardous occupations (funny)
by Blue on May/12,2010 ( diamond user)
167
votes
Utterly funny pics.
by M.Radhakrishnan on Oct/24,2012 ( platinum user)
243
votes
Funny questions with no answer???
by Maulik Patel on Jul/18,2010 ( diamond user)
1 k
votes
A Collection of some cute and funny images
by Vicky on Nov/22,2010 ( diamond user)
187
votes
Mixed funny pics.
by Raj Kumar on Mar/25,2013 ( diamond user)
172
votes
Brilliant Pictures Ads, and funny
Admin on Dec/20,2007  
80
votes
Deadlock situation... really funny
Admin on Jun/17,2008  
252
votes
Fantastically funny, honestly.
by Blue on Jun/02,2011 ( diamond user)
581
votes
Tricky Techies !!!!!! Really funny..U'll like it.......
Admin on Feb/18,2007  
63
votes
English is a funny language.
by Raj Kumar on Jan/17,2014 ( diamond user)
173
votes
A funny resignation letter
by Maulik Patel on Jul/13,2010 ( diamond user)
1 k
votes
Don't you think these Photographers were so funny!?
by Portonovo Kajanazimudeen on Aug/10,2009 ( diamond user)
110
votes
Fantastically funny.
by Panther on Aug/24,2014 ( diamond user)
159
votes
Furiously funny facts
by Ritvik Ohri on Jun/10,2012 ( diamond user)

Random Pics



Share this with friends

Your Name:
Your Email:

Friends Email: (Atleast 1)


Subscribe for more Fun

Receive best posts in your inbox.

Confirm email
Your Email



Add Your Comments

comments powered by Disqus
User generated content. Copyright respective owners wherever applicable. Contact - admin at binscorner