Great jokes.

  Monika
  karma level 82240


A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a
meeting.

On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub
the lamp and a ghost appears !

The ghost says," Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are
three, I will allow one wish each" So the eager senior manager shouted,
I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and
have no worries.

Pfufffff, and he was gone. Now the junior manager could not keep quiet
and shouted "I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of
food and cocktails."Pfufffff, and he was also gone. The boss calmly
said," I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at
12.35pm"

Lesson I : "Always allow the bosses to speak first"

------------------------------

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Standing in front of a paper shredding machine with a piece of paper in
his hand.

"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important
document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on,
inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent,
excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder
machine. "I just need one copy."

Lesson II - Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA
when
the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are
you?" The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand
what
you mean." The American repeated, What kind of -ese are you?" Again,
the
Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated,
then
yelled, "What kind of -ese are you .. Are you a Chinese, Japanese,
Vietnamese!, etc......???" The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a
Japanese." A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked:
What kind of 'kee' was he. The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do
you
mean what kind of '-kee' am I?!" The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee,
donkee, or monkee?"

Lesson III - Never insult anyone.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a
French,who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle,
a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the
bottle, He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give
each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout
what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come
true."

The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted
"WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman
was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and
immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so
contented with his beer pool.

The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly
he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted,
SH*T!!!!!!!........."

Lesson IV - Think twice before you say something, because sometimes
accidents do happen



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