MARRIAGE....

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This is not the case in India, although good to read.


MARRIAGE






       When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and
said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I
observedthe hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what
Iwas thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,
why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the
chopsticksand shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk
toeach other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had
happenedto our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory
answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just
pitiedher!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that
shecould own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten
yearsof her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her
wastedtime, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said
for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which
waswhat I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of
release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several
Weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at
thetable. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep
veryfast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not
careso I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
anythingfrom me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She
requestedthat in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life
as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's
timeand she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to
recallhow I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our
bedroomto the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just
tomake our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
thoughtit was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face
thedivorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitlyexpressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both
appearedclumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his
arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting
room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She
closedher eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I
nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went
towait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't
lookedat this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not
youngany more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying!
Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had  
done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.



On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was
growingagain. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her
asthe month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses
butcould not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have
grownbigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the
reasonwhy I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her
heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To
him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part
of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him
tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind
atthis last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom,
throughthe sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck
softlyand naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding
day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her
inmy arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held
hertightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want
thedivorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a
fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't
divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't
valuethe details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any
more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding
dayI am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed
thedoor and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife.
The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote,

I'll carry you out every morning until death dous apart.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank ,blah..blah..blah.

These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!


If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.






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