Oldies - A good laugh

  nma.nadaf
  karma level 24262



1. Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:

 'Joe, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Joe says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants!'


2. Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember…
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure..' 
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks. 
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so not to forget it?' 
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks. 
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!' 
Then he toddles into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs..

She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast?'


3. A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: 
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!' 
'Do I know her?' 
'Nope!' 
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.' 
'Is she a good cook?' 
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.' 
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'


4. Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'

5. Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said,

'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you advised-'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'' 
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful!!'


6. One more.. . .! 
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool..

After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis!'

 ==========================================================================================
 
 
 
 
 
 


Related Entries

550
votes
Can't stop laughing album.
by Prasanna A on Feb/20,2012 ( diamond user)
1 k
votes
Everything happens for a good reason!
Admin on Feb/17,2007  
30
votes
How to recognize a good woman?
by Blue on Mar/29,2015 ( diamond user)
449
votes
Celebrities laugh out loud.
by Bikash Chetry on Mar/29,2011 ( diamond user)
3 k
votes
Some good jokes
Admin on Feb/17,2007  
2 k
votes
Funny Photos you can laugh at
Admin on Dec/18,2007  
340
votes
13 good reasons that the worldcup is over for us!
Admin on Mar/26,2007  
391
votes
Beer is good for you
Admin on Feb/17,2007  
181
votes
Check this -- too good.. awesome
Admin on Feb/17,2007  
317
votes
Some office laughs
by Sheikh Shariq on Jan/21,2011 ( diamond user)
71
votes
Fortune for You (it is simply good)
Admin on Feb/17,2007  
262
votes
Funny... I bet u will laugh like anything !! :)
Admin on May/18,2007  
24
votes
good TP...
Admin on Feb/17,2007  
24
votes
Good one @!1
Admin on Feb/17,2007  
101
votes
How 2 ask 4 leave or appraisal .. too good....
Admin on Feb/17,2007  
172
votes
Decision making -- good one
Admin on Feb/17,2007  
67
votes
IT good morning...
Admin on Feb/17,2007  
1 k
votes
Story for the Day - a good one
Admin on Feb/18,2007  
20
votes
Laugh guranteed
Admin on Feb/17,2007  
5
votes
Mirror ... Too good
Admin on May/18,2007  

Random Pics



Share this with friends

Your Name:
Your Email:

Friends Email: (Atleast 1)


Subscribe for more Fun

Receive best posts in your inbox.

Confirm email
Your Email



Add Your Comments

comments powered by Disqus
User generated content. Copyright respective owners wherever applicable. Contact - admin at binscorner